Missing home.

It’s been 3 years since I came back home from another home. Time does fly so fast. And I’ve been missing home since then.

Watching some insta stories from the students who just started their journey in America makes me feel….hurt a little bit. I do happy for them, but somehow I envy them. I wish that I’m the one who’s in the US now, not them. It’s just because I miss America, DC to be exact. I miss my second home.

I miss my big room, and how it makes me feel comfortable. I miss my morning waffle and butter syrup. I miss it when mom or dad shouted “Yasmin,……!”. I miss the hill and the street which I passed everyday to (and from) school. I miss buying things from CVS (or sometimes i just strolled around it). I miss hanging out at Lizzy’s house every friday and playing cards against humanity and having pizza for dinner. I miss my Netflix&chill kinda weekend. I miss taking the metro to the downtown and visiting some museums. I miss the mexican food. I miss going to the park just to read a book. I miss walking around the Tenleytown&Friendship Heights. I miss some cool teachers and friends from Wilson. I miss the whole AFS DC Metro Area squad. I miss this and that. I miss these and those. It’s just too many things I’ve been missing for years.

Sometimes I miss the moments, another time I miss the people.

Sometimes I miss the places, another time I miss my-old-self.

But for sure, I miss DC and I really wish that I can come back home as soon as possible.

xoxo,

yasmin.

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Dialog Random

Beberapa dialog hari Senin bersama Farah

“Tuh, kalo kesini harusnya sama PACAR!”

“Foto kaya gini terus captionnya ‘🙈’ biar netizen yang menginterpretasikan sendiri”

“Aku tuh pengen nikahan yang kaya…”

Ya, sebut dia selalu dalam sujudmu lah!

“Dia ku sholawatin terus aja lah”

“Kamu kalo liat orang sekarang jadi bayangin kehidupan kalian di masa depan nggak sih?”

“Sekarang tuh kalo nyari cowok jangan main-main. Udah waktunya serius”

“Aku ngga ngebet nikah muda sih, tapi kalo lagi suka orang selalu bayangin bisa gak ya ngabisin sisa hidup sama dia?!”

“Kalo sampe dia ngomong gitu, aku lari dari sini ke sana”

“Aku tuh ga suka yang harus chat setiap saat, yang penting in the end of the day kita ngobrol tentang hari kita”

“Ya yang penting dia bisa jadi my first call in the morning and last call at night

Kalo lagi sedih tuh, pengennya cuma dipeluk gaksih?!

I like affection but not too much

dan masih banyak dialog random tentang nikah, jodoh, dan dia.

(+ bonus moodboard ala-ala)

Am I Not Good Enough?

I always feel like I am not good enough. From my appearance, brain, to attitude. I always feel like I’m not good enough to receive good things. It’s like I don’t deserve those things.

I know, I’m not supposed to feel that way. It’s just my insecure self always make me feel like that. And when it happens, I can be so stress and moody. Yes, if you’re happening to interact with me and I’m in such of a bad mood and little bit crancky, it could be one of those days when insecurity hits me. Sadly, I’m not the one who can easily talk to others. I’m that quite person when it comes to something personal like this. And yes, it makes thing worse.

But here’s the thing, if you know me well, you will know that I always share some positive quotes or thoughts. I always say “love yourself”, “encourage yourself to be the best of you”, and others positive stuff. All those good things I share to you, are actually for myself -too. I search for comfort on those words. So I can feel better. So I can feel that I’m worth it. It might sound so sad to you, but, believe me, it’s not. Because I realize, in the end, the one who can save me is myself (with the help of God, obviously). Therefore, when I feel like the insecurity attacks me, I will jump to those positive words to calm myself down and sometimes I share to you. Just so if you feel the same way, I hope I can make you feel better.

Why I share this? Because I know that somebody out there might feel the same way. Maybe we’re not in the same -exact- battle, but you know.

“Hi, hello, to you who feel the same way. I know it’s not easy for us to fight this, to be open about this to anyone. But, you know what? We’re not alone. Somebody out there might have the same battle as us and they won. If they can, why can’t we? Please stay strong and believe that we can be better.”

Whenever it happens, just go find distractions and search for comfort. Calm yourself by doing something you like. You can tell someone if you want to or you can just simply read positive things like me. Don’t let it takes over your mind and soul.

We are stronger than our insecurities and surely, we will win in the battle ground.

xoxo,

Yasmin.

Hai!

Sudah lamaaa sekali saya nggak nulis, hehe. Semua itu karena saya sibuk (atau, sok menyibukkan diri?). Jadi, selama ini kegiatan tulis-menulis hanya saya lakukan di diary (yes, people, I still write diary).

Okay, so, actually what brings me back here is kasusnya mba Via Vallen yang akhir-akhir ini rame banget diomongin di sosial media. Buat saya, apa yang dilakukan sama mba Via ini keren banget!

She was so brave for speaking up. I know it takes a big courage to do so. It is not easy to speak up when you get sexual harassment because most of the times people will blame you back for speaking up (or it also known as victim blaming).

And yes, it happens to mba Via. People blame her for speaking up. Dia dibilang caper lah, kurang kerjaan lah, cari sensasi lah. I actually so shock when I read those hatred comments, kaya “wow, gila sih orang lagi kena musibah malah dicaci kaya gitu, hati nuraninya dimana?”. Dan yang lebih kaget lagi yang ngatain kaya gitu lebih banyak perempuan daripada laki-laki.

Banyak juga yang malah nyalahin mba Via atas kasus tersebut. Mereka membenarkan sexual harassment yang terjadi karena cara berpakaian mba Via yang dianggap “mengundang”. Padahal sejauh yang saya tahu mba Via ini termasuk sopan cara berpakaiannya. Menurut saya pun cara berpakaian seseorang nggak selalu menjadi penyebab perempuan (ataupun laki-laki) mendapatkan kekerasan seksual. Mau sesopan apapun pakaian seseorang, kalau pelakunya emang kaya binatang ya tetep aja.

Ada juga yang bilang bahwa apa yang terjadi ke mba Via ini suatu hal yang wajar karena pelakunya itu bule. I can’t say no more, peeps. Like, in which way is it “normal”?! Someone get a sexual harassment and you say it is normal? Where on earth is your brain?! Mau pelakunya bule, non bule, temen deket, saudara, atau pun keluarga sendiri nggak ada yang wajar dari kekerasan seksual!

When someone speak up because (s)he gets sexual harassment we must appreciate him/her. Nggak gampang loh, buat berani ngomong seperti itu. Sudah sepatutnya kita mengapresiasi keberanian mereka. Besides, listen to them and comfort them. Make them feel safe. Don’t ever let them blame themselves for what happen to them. We can also help them to seek help to the professionals.

Buat siapapun yang jadi korban kekerasan seksual, jangan pernah takut untuk speak up. Speak to whoever you trust, bisa teman, keluarga, psikolog, atau siapapun yang kalian percaya dan nyaman untuk diajak bicara. Dengan berani bicara kalian juga turut memutus mata rantai kekerasan seksual dan meningkatkan kesadaran tentang pentingnya berani berbicara mengenai masalah tersebut.

Speak up, Fellas! Your are worth to be heard. Your problem is worth to be solved. Speak up, because your voice matters!

 

Xoxo,

Yasmin.

After A Year

Hi!

Time flies so fast. It has been a year since I came back from the US. Things are much better now. I have finished my high school and I will go to the University of Indonesia for college. It means that I will move to Depok for 4 years! I’m so excited yet so nervous.

Oh, by the way, I’m writing this post to announce you all that I’m back! I will fill up my blog with bunch of writings. Yes, I know, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s because I was so busy with my senior year and re-adjustment. Another reason was I lived on my school dormitory and it made me hard to do blogging. So, I decided to hiatus. But, since I have done with my school and not live in school dormitory anymore, I will do blogging again.

Well, see you at my next post peeps!

 

Xoxo,

Yaz

Philadelphia, I’m in Love!

Hi!

Alhamdulillah saya menulis lagi. Sudah dari seabad yang lalu rasanya saya terakhir menulis. Heuh, suka malu sama diri sendiri karena jarang menulis. Maapkeun.

Anyway, saya kemarin habis jalan-jalan dari Philadelphia and I’m in love with the city! Philadelphia itu cantik sekali. Nggak tahu kenapa, saya merasa Philadelphia itu kaya Bandung. Saya ke Philadelphia karena diajak seorang teman. Lumayan dapat akomodasi gratisan.

Di Philadelphia saya ke beberapa museum, (ngomong-ngomong, saya selama di Amerika mainnya ke museum terus. Museum di Amerika keren-keren sih!), dari historical museum sampai art museum.

Pertama ketika sampai, saya ke bekas penjara namanya Eastern State Penitentiary. Saya agak-agak ngeri sih sama tempat ini. Ya, soalnya ini bekas penjara dan dulu orang-orang di dalamnya dihukum dengan cara yang lumayan sadis. Bentuk bangunannya seperti benteng dan gede banget.

Tempat kedua yang saya kunjungi itu Philadelphia’s Magic Garden, dan tempat ini keren banget! Di sebelah tempat ini, ada jalan setapak kecil dimana ada banyak mural di dinding-dinding bangunan. Jadi disini itu ada banyak barang-barang bekas dan pecahan-pecahan kaca yang ditata secara artistik menjadi sebuah maha karya /apadeh. Eh, tapi beneran kok, semua yang ada disini itu “sampah”. As it said, the place was magical and i got fascinated by it.

Sebelum ke tempat penginapan saya sempet mampir ke University of Pennsylvania. Universitasnya keren! Tapi tetep cinta saya masih nyangkut di Dickinson /ea.

Sebelum ke Phylli, saya nggak tahu kalau saya bakal nginep di panti jompo gitu. Tapi, panti jompo disini keren. Panti jomponya lebih kaya apartemen gitu sih. Terus fasilitasnya lengkap banget, dari mini theater sampai rumah sakit!

Hari minggunya, saya pergi ke Liberty Bell. Ini itu bel simbol kemerdekaan gitu deh. Dan belnya patah di bagian bawah. Satu paket sama Liberty Bell, saya juga pergi ke Independence Hall. Jadi ini itu tempat dimana US Declaration of Independence lahir. Saya juga pergi ke Headed to White House Museum – National Constitution Center. Semua tempat tadi ada di satu komplek.

Sebelum pulang, saya mampir ke Elferth’s Alley. Ini itu jalan dan permukiman tertua di US. Lagi-lagi, i got fascinated! Nggak tahu kenapa, suka banget sama jalan ini. Atmosfir eropa-nya kerasa banget sih (hm, padahal saya juga belum pernah bener-bener ke eropa. Sekalinya kesana cuma buat transit). Setelah itu kita ke ceramic shop and studio yang saya lupa namanya. Disana keramiknya keren-keren dan harganya juga keren.

Jalan-jalan saya di Philadelphia diakhiri dengan satu cone Franklin Fountain ice cream yang melegenda!

Thank you, dear Philadelphia. I will visit you again sometime in the future!